Messing up the databases
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After realizing that by contributing money both to Campus Crusade for Christ and Amnesty International I had successfully managed to destroy the neat little demographic buckets that some data miner was trying to stuff me into, I have come across my next trick. For all subsequent flights I am going to choose a different "special" meal. First I will choose a Kosher meal. Then when the department of Homeland Security sniffs me I will be 90% likely to be Jewish. Then I will eat a Hindu meal and I will be some bizarre Kaballa thing. Then I will eat a Muslim meal and be a terrorist who wants to kill 90% of myself. Then I will eat a Vegetarian meal and be an anarcho-socialist communist who hates Starbuck's. (For the record I thank God for Starbuck$ when I am not in Seattle, when I am in Seattle I curse their bourgeois approach to coffee). Finally I will eat special low sodium diets so that I will be over 50 in the magic database and will get applications for AARP in the mail. There is no such thing as privacy anymore. The only safe harbor for those concerned is to hide in the noise - break the models that successfully bucket all the other people. Start dirtying the databases entries of your information now, or you will be pigeon-holed when it matters. |
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I need to vent against the aformentioned Starbucks tyranny. Having just moved, literally just around the corner, I am slowly departing from my previously held belief that going to Starbucks is a personal decision. There seems to be a strange force eminating from the counter at Starbucks, drawing to it, unsuspecting owners and their depleted wallets. It has the power to disengage rational thought processes that might sway a coffee drinker to do the unthinkable, and make a cup of coffee IN THEIR OWN KITCHEN! This unfortunate law does not extend just to heated beverages, but to pastries and other confections as well. This latter iteration has recently aflicted me in the form of a soft molasses cookie. My ability to resist is slowly eroding. Read this as a plea for mercy. Give me Duncan Donuts or Caribou Coffee...anything but Starbucks!!
Posted by: Nate at November 30, 2004 6:29 AM
I need to vent against the aformentioned Starbucks tyranny. Having just moved, literally just around the corner, I am slowly departing from my previously held belief that going to Starbucks is a personal decision. There seems to be a strange force eminating from the counter at Starbucks, drawing to it, unsuspecting owners and their depleted wallets. It has the power to disengage rational thought processes that might sway a coffee drinker to do the unthinkable, and make a cup of coffee IN THEIR OWN KITCHEN! This unfortunate law does not extend just to heated beverages, but to pastries and other confections as well. This latter iteration has recently aflicted me in the form of a soft molasses cookie. My ability to resist is slowly eroding. Read this as a plea for mercy. Give me Duncan Donuts or Caribou Coffee...anything but Starbucks!!
Posted by: Nate at November 30, 2004 6:29 AM
Conspiracy theorists unite! I've been fed up with the Starbucks oppression for quite a while.
Posted by: Nate at November 10, 2004 11:47 AM